It’s my birthday! Today I am 43! Yes, 43, and as you may know, I use each birthday as an opportunity to process the past year. And in thinking about this past year in particular, I noticed I repeated one of my mantras often to myself and it really kept me going. That mantra is “Find the Gift in Everything.”
Now you might say, what do you mean “find the gift in everything”? How can you possibly see good in some situations? Truthfully, I can’t say that the gift is always apparent, or welcome, at the time. Sometimes you need to rely on your faith that it will eventually come. Some situations—particularly tragedies—are hard to understand, but in time you will see some positive out of the situation. More often, though, I use my mantra to navigate the day-to-day trials. That’s where this mantra and the resulting mindset shift has helped me tremendously. Here are some examples of where I’ve tried to find the gift recently.
Many mornings I find my sweet Ellie—age 9, and with special needs—in a dirty diaper and needing to be cleaned up.
Obviously, this is not the first thing I want to deal with in the morning, but many times that is my reality. I don’t get upset with her, or annoyed that I have to do this. I try not to think envious thoughts, like how most moms of 9-year old girls are enjoying their coffee as their daughter eats her own breakfast while I’m stuck doing this. Now of course I’ve had those thoughts (I’m human), but I always quickly shift my thinking. Instead, I stop and say, “Thank God that I can be here to be that Mom to care for Ellie and all her needs.” And I know in the back of my mind, that in a half-hour she will be happily on her way to school and I will be that Mom enjoying my coffee. That’s two gifts!!! I love my Ellie, and she has truly been the one who shifted my thinking and let me realize what’s really important. She taught me the importance of finding the gift.
Last night, after a long day of non-stop fighting between my kids, I was lying in bed trying to find the gift. I’ve been looking for the gift for a few days; they’ve been off for three days straight because the Pope is in Philadelphia. It wasn’t until I woke up this morning and saw the birthday card from my 12-year old son, Gavin, that I saw one of the gifts. He wrote the sweetest note, but the one-liner that had me cracking up was “It’s amazing how good you look for your age, considering all the grief I give you”. The other thing Brad, my husband, reminded me was that the moments when they get along would not be nearly as sweet if we didn’t have these days when they don’t get along so nicely. A bit twisted, but he found the gift.
I also have been having some health issues myself the past six weeks, and it hasn’t been easy or fun. (No worries, I’m okay and figuring things out. I’m fine, really.) But here’s the gift. I haven’t pulled out my computer many afternoons once the kids are home from school because I honestly haven’t had the energy for that. The positive is that I’ve been home every day since school started and I’ve been really present for them. In the past, I may have been present in body, but not always 100% mentally because I just had to send one more email or do one more thing. So, I’d say that is a gift. And as I’m gaining my energy back, I am trying to be more disciplined with staying off my computer in the afternoon. The things we learn, right?
It’s been hard, no lie. Before my health issue cropped up I was in great shape, running a few mornings a week with friends and feeling great (I even recently completed my first 1/2 marathon). Then it all stopped suddenly (so much for improving on that front). Now, as a result of not feeling great, I’ve had my “mid-life body tune-up” (as we’ve been joking around the house). I’ve had more tests than I ever thought needed. The good news is that now I have a good pulse on my body and know there’s nothing major wrong. Yes, not feeling well and having to slow down has bummed me out, but I know I WILL be back out there and fortunately it’s just a matter of time…and that truly is a gift. I am lucky and fortunate that I just have a hiccup, not a life-changing event. Glass 1/2 full, Baby.
Another example? When things are slow at Baby Be Hip, I look at is an opportunity to catch up on all those outstanding projects and really clean up the shop. I try to let panic subside (where are my awesome customers?) and instead see the gift. It’s not often that we get to exhale at Baby Be Hip so we are learning to enjoy it while we have it.
I know I’m not alone. We all have challenges, trials and tribulations! I encourage you to try to find the gift in everything. Look on the bright side of life. Once you get started you’ll never stop, because everything is easier this way. Why worry when you don’t need to? Now, this tact takes a little work but you will see the changes when you shift your perspective. In our house, when the negative talk comes out, we tell “Negative Nelly” to go back and bring out “Positive Polly”. Yeah, it’s a little corny but it works for us. Then as you get better at it you’ll start seeing your challenges as blessings in disguise and you’ll be more at peace with life and all it throws at you. And it keeps life exciting! Never a dull moment is a frequent saying around me! LOL, because if you’re not laughing…
I often describe my life as a roller coaster of highs and lows. My husband, Brad, often tells me I have such extremes because I live life hard. There is no coasting around here, I am living my life! Check out last year’s post on 42 Things that Matter to Me. Find the Gift in Everything was #9 on my list last year but played more significance in my life this year.
Let me know what YOU think!
